Friday, 5 December 2025

Beauty and the Beast a Horny Love Story - Review

Charing Cross Theatre, London



****



Written by Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper
Directed by Andrew Beckett


Keanu Adolphus Johnson and Matt Kennedy

Writers Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper have transferred the classic fairytale over the sea from France to the Scottish village of Lickmanochers. With the town of Suckmacoch nearby, the scene is perfectly set for one of the capital’s filthiest, funniest pantomimes this year.

Deliciously de-Disneyfied, and with a wonderfully improbable storyline that is best not subject to too much scrutiny, it’s no real spoiler to say that Keanu Adolphus Johnson’s gay Beast does follow the tale’s traditional path, winning the love of Matt Kennedy’s virginal Bertie.

Matthew Baldwin’s Dame Flora (“easily spread”) is a blast, with an array of costumes that include a fabulous take on Angela Lansbury/Mrs Potts’s teapot. Dani Mirels (as Juno) and Laura Anna-Mead (Bonnie) provide the evening’s sapphic love interest.

As Bradfield and Hooper spoof many of the cartoon’s numbers, there’s a terrific rip-off of Belle to get things started, with a sensational Be Our Slave featuring later in the show. Quite how the narrative winds up in the North Sea (with In The Navy evolved into On An Oil Rig) is a conundrum but frankly it doesn’t matter. The dialogue is slick, sassy and coarse, with knowing theatrical nods and references to satisfy even the wisest West End Wendy. The shows production values are fab. Andrew Beckett’s direction is strengthened by David Shields’s simply sumptuous sets and Carole Todd’s imaginative choreography.

Leave the kids at home and treat yourself to a classy night out that's as camp as Christmas.


Runs until 11th January 2026
Photo credit: Steve Gregson

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